you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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