honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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