He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
