i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
