I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
