Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
