he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
