As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
