i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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