he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
