do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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