There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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