as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
