It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
