i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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