You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
