My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
