This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Is it penis luge time yet?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
