i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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