did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
