Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
