Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
