Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
