the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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