a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
