please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize