I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize