Screwed.edu
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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