Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
