last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
