Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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