erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
