theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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