Don't make out with my wife yet
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
