I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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