if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
