New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
