so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I believe in your delicious
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
