Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
