i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
