i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize