My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
