you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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