Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
