I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
