My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
