Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
