Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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