Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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