i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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