Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
