I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
