the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
