So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
