i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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