it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
