i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
