Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
honey bunches of taint.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
