Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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