So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
