oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
